Coping with Pet Loss: A UK Guide to Grieving Your Beloved Companion & Finding Support

The silence can be deafening. Your home feels far too large. The routine has gone.

At When Nina Met Ellie, we understand this pain. We have therefore compiled this guide to help you navigate the difficult journey of pet bereavement, to help validate your feelings, and connect you with vital support resources here in the UK.
It is not uncommon for society to minimise the grief associated with losing an animal. This is why it can leave pet owners feeling isolated or even ashamed of their grief. It is therefore crucial to remember:

Understanding the Depth of Pet Bereavement

• Your grief is valid: There is no right or wrong way to feel. Sadness, anger, guilt, denial, and even in some cases relief (after witnessing your pet suffer a long and painful illness).  They are all normal emotional responses.
• Your bond is unique: The relationship you share with your pet is unlike any other. They offer constant companionship, never judge, and they love unconditionally. Which is why this unique bond can create a terrible void when they are gone.
• Anticipatory grief is real: If your pet is facing a terminal illness or old age, you may experience grief even before they pass. This is a natural part of preparing for their eventual departure:

Navigating the Waves of Grief: Practical Coping Strategies

Healing from pet loss can be a long process, and here we offer some strategies that may help you cope:

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve: Do not try to suppress your emotions. Cry, talk about your pet, and acknowledge your pain. You must permit yourself to mourn
2. Honour Your Pet’s Memory:

• Memorialisation: Consider creating a physical memorial – a framed photo, a paw print, a custom piece of jewellery, or a special spot in the garden.
• Memory Jar: Write down favourite memories and place them in a jar to read when you need comfort.
• Donate in Their Name: Support an animal charity or rescue in honour of your pet.
• Plant a Tree in their name: A living memorial can provide a sense of continuity.
• Sponsor a kennel at a rehoming centre:  Helping another pet find a loving home in your pet’s name can be extremely comforting.

1. Talk About It: Share your feelings with understanding friends, family, or other pet owners who understand.  Do not be afraid to reach out.
2. Maintain Routine (where possible): While painful, maintaining some semblance of your daily routine can provide stability. However, be kind to yourself if you need to adjust.
3. Self-Care is Crucial: Grief is exhausting. Ensure that you are eating, sleeping (as much as possible), and getting some fresh air. Gentle exercise can also be beneficial.
4. Explain to Children: If you have children, speak with them.  It is important to be honest, yet gentle. Explain death in an age-appropriate way and allow them to express their sadness.
5. Consider Your Other Pets: Other pets in the household can also grieve. Observe their behaviour, maintain their routine, and give them extra attention and comfort.
6. Don’t Rush into acquiring a New Pet: While the idea of filling the void may be tempting, give yourself time to heal before considering a new companion. Every pet is unique, and it is important to be ready for a new bond.

Difficult Decisions & Aftercare Options

Sometimes, the loss of a pet comes through a difficult decision, such as euthanasia. This can add layers of guilt and heartache. Remember that choosing euthanasia, when advised by a vet, is often the kindest act of love to spare a beloved animal from suffering.  No matter how difficult, try to stay with them.  They need to your love in life and in death, and it will often help your grieving.

When your pet passes, you will need to consider aftercare options. Your vet will guide you through these choices:

• Cremation: Individual cremation (where ashes are returned to you) or communal cremation.
• Burial: At home (check local regulations) or at a pet cemetery.
• Memorial Products: Many pet crematoria and memorial services offer urns, caskets, memorial stones, or personalised jewellery.

Essential UK Resources & Support for Pet Bereavement

Remember that you do not have to endure this alone. Here are some invaluable organisations in the UK that offer dedicated support and resources for pet owners experiencing grief:

Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Service

• Offers a confidential telephone helpline, email support, and online resources. Staffed by trained volunteers who are experienced in pet loss.
• Helpline: 0800 096 6606
• Opening Hours: Daily, 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM
• Website: Visit www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-support for more information and online chat options.

PDSA Pet Bereavement Support

• Provides a confidential helpline and online support for grieving pet owners.
• Helpline: 0800 096 0606
• Opening Hours: Daily, 9 AM – 5 PM
• Website: Find resources at www.pdsa.org.uk/pet-help-and-advice/pet-bereavement-support

The Ralph Site (Pet Loss Support)

• A comprehensive online resource providing information, articles, and a supportive online community forum for grieving pet owners. While they don’t have a direct helpline, their website is a fantastic hub of information and connection.
  • Website: www.theralphsite.com

Your Veterinary Practice:

• Don’t underestimate the support your veterinary team can offer. They have witnessed your bond with your pet and may have local resources, grief counselling referrals, or simply a compassionate ear.

Pet Cemeteries and Crematoria:

• Many pet memorial service providers offer bereavement support as part of their services, or they can direct you to local counsellors specialising in pet loss.

A Journey of Healing

Grief is a testament to the love you shared. There is no timeline for healing, and the sadness may linger, but it will soften with time. Be patient, remember the joy and love your pet brought into your life, and reach out for support when needed. Your beloved companion would want you to find peace. 

Though the pain of loss may never fully subside, the love that you both shared will remain a beautiful memory that honours their place in your heart.

We hope this guide offers some comfort and practical steps during such a difficult time. Please share your own experiences or words of comfort in the comments below – your story might help someone else.